We’re all for exploration in marriage and constantly trying out new things, but there are just some things that we believe don’t belong in your bedroom.
Here are five things we think don’t deserve an invitation:
This might sound like a given, but temptation can be very tricky. The enemy can sneak into our marriages by first sneaking into our minds. After time passes in marriage, almost every spouse in every marriage will look for a way to spice things up.
Bringing another person into the bedroom is never the way to do so. Maybe the other person is Christian, maybe they’re bringing their spouse too…it simply does not matter.
We believe God designed marriage to be between one man and one woman. No exceptions.
Instead: invite privacy… along with the understanding that it’s special, intimate, and even sexy to have a private sex life that nobody has access to besides you, your lover and God
If I had a dollar for every time I read an article or blog post encouraging married couples to watch porn, I’d probably be living on a yacht in the Caribbean.
Sometimes relationship experts will encourage you to watch it alone to explore your fantasies and relieve sexual tension. Other times you’ll be challenged to watch it with your spouse to become inspired and heighten arousal.
Porn is damaging, addictive, and sinful. Sin will never help you grow closer to God.
Instead: invite passion. Focus your attention, your affection and your desire on the beauty of your one true love, your partner and friend that God has joined you with.
The Bible tells us that drunkenness is sinful, but we don’t believe there is anything wrong with having a drink every now and then. Too much alcohol can cloud our judgment, make us irresponsible and over time become a crutch for our happiness or stability.
Maybe you think you’re just having fun with it, but we believe drunken intimacy has no place in a God-honoring bedroom.
Instead: invite drunkenness only in love.
I don’t know/I don’t care”
It’s become a rule in our bedroom that we can’t tell the other “I don’t know/I don’t care” when discussing our plans for intimacy. That’s a way that we’ve killed passion, brought about unnecessary frustration and went through lovemaking without getting our needs met.
Instead: invite adventure and confidence.
We do enjoy both sex toys and mutual masturbation, but we don’t support secret masturbation and taking care of your own needs in spite of your spouse. We understand that sometimes really difficult sexual situations arise, and that sexual conflict is incredibly hard to process, but taking things into your own hands without your spouse doesn’t promote intimacy or unity.
Instead: be your spouse’s source of pleasure.
What else do you keep out of the bedroom? Let us know in the comments!