There’s a lot of talk in the marriage world about the necessity of “initiating.” Simply put, that means everything from being the first person to bring up or actively encourage your spouse to do something.
But initiating is almost always talked about in reference to sex.
I see the complaints: “my wife is low drive and she never starts it” or “my husband will only go down on me if I bring it up first.” Whatever the situation is, refusal to initiate can lead to a lot of discomfort, awkwardness and resentment.
Being the first one to do these things can make your spouse feel like you really, truly desire them, value your marriage and want to see things improve.
And it’s important to make clear that initiating is not just about sex. striving to make your spouse feel valued outside of the bedroom can have a great impact on how things go inside of the bedroom.
Here are five other things to initiate that may help your marriage overall:
Say I Love You First
It might be troublesome for your spouse if they always feel like they’re always initiating the “I Love You’s.” Try throwing one their way completely out of no where every now and then to make sure there’s a balance.
Be the first to give a kiss
Kisses don’t have to lead to sex, but they can definitely lead to deeper intimacy. Make sure you’re freely offering kisses to your mate in good times and in tough times so that it becomes a nice habit and a great comfort.
Get a head start on the chores
If chores need to be done around the house, just start doing them. This may help your partner feel appreciated and satisfied that you’re contributing to the housework without having to be asked!
Put the kids to bed
If you’re not the one who’s usually at the forefront of the bedtime routine, give your spouse a break and let them relax! Take on the stresses of putting the kids to bed as a form of sacrificial love.
Be the first to say I’m sorry
When you’re wrong, when the fight needs to end, when you know it’s time to repair things, don’t wait for your spouse to say they’re sorry. Offer your apologies upfront to forge a bold and loving path to reconciliation.
And a bonus: this one can be sexual, but it also applies to every other part of your life: be more eager to give than you are to receive. Make sure your spouse is satisfied, and truly strive to outdo one another with generous, selfless acts.
What are other great things to initiate in marriage? Let us know what you think in the comments!